Friday, March 6, 2009
Friends are always comfortable together (ABOVE)
I thought that I understood what friendship means but as I've grown older it occurs to me that I know much less.
I have known people for years who I've felt were friends, but if you should ask me if I could count on them or even hear from them, there would be no guarantee.
In the years I've been around I have noticed one thing that stands out among most of us. We eventually go on with our careers and essentially forget about people that don't "fit" into our lives anymore.
Emerson states: "Friendship may be said to require natures so rare and costly, each so well tempered and so happily adapted,and it cannot subsist in it's perfection".
One of my greatest regrets is that I didn't keep close ties over the years with people who I consider a privilege to have as friends. A couple of whom I have rediscovered and it has made me realize how important it is to keep in touch with those that have made a mark on your life.
An old lost friend "rediscovered" is like putting on your slippers. They're comfortable and they still fit.
The fact is, friendship requires energy, effort and motivation even when it is relatively simple to email or call a friend compared to the Poney Express days or "Snail" mail today.
Friendship requires a desire, perhaps even a "need" to have a close relationship with another person.
It is someone that you connect with and share similar interests with. Friendship always has the key ingredients of sharing,compassion,understanding and faithfulness.
Friendship is built on a foundation of respect,trust and loyalty.
A lasting friendship is mostly non-judgemental,supportive,reliable and forgiving.
Few of us are priveliged to have friends that give the "gift" of staying in touch.
But let's face it not everyone makes a good friend. There must be some mutual "connection" or "chemistry" that binds them together like "iron fillings to a magnet". Whether it be similar interests such as hobbies or professional ties as well as respect for each other's character.
Thoreau wrote: "I would that I were worthy to be any man's Friend."
My wife has had a couple of "friends" who she continues to send cards, emails, etc. but she never hears from them. In my humble opinion it is their loss.
Are they a lost cause or is there something that she doesn't know that could be a contributing factor?
One can only speculate when there is a lack of communication.
I have always felt that true friendship is something in life to celebrate, embrace and to cherish.
The loss of a friend either through death, distance or differences can be devastating to one's soul and spirit.
I have been fortunate to have a few friends who have greatly enhanced the quality of my life and at times have lifted my spirit. People who I've shared memorable adventures and innermost "secrets" with.
The thought of a cherished friend and memories of special adventures together is always a good moment in my mind.
(These Two CATS are best friends)
Most everyone including friends have their imperfections and idiosyncracies which may add greatly to their character and unique personalities.
I clearly recall my first impression nearly 40 years ago upon meeting a certain friend in my life who made me feel like I found a kindred spirit.
Here was a person that instantaneously lifted me in some intriguing way with his magnetic personality and I was focused on his story.
His story came from the heart with passion and sincerety, like a kid who had just discovered something new and is excited about it.
I felt like an old friend and
all at once we were friends.
This person I thought,could "Sell Ice cubes to Eskimos".
A person with a great sense of humor,intelligence,laid back but outgoing personality, a genuine good guy and I might add obsessive compulsive.
But who's judging?
Sadly I don't hear from this person anymore,
evidence that there is no lifetime warranty on friendship.
I guess some old friends just fade away?